ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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