you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
