i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
