I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
