Yo dont text me then not text me
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
