i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
