I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
