My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
