oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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