didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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