alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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