her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize