K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
