i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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