I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize