Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
