Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
