It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
