SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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