remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
