Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
