Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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