I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
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My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
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true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
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