my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
