he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
third nipple confirmed
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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