Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
