THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
