So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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