This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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