dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
ttyl tear gas
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
