Kareoke will never be a sober sport
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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