Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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