did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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