"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
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she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
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the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine