there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.