I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.