Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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