Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'm sobbing to NWA
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize