i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
