I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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