And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
