shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
