i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
