Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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