i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
