i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
