i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
