i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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