Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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