This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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