Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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