Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Ambien. No doubt about it.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
