The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Randomize
