Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
