So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
