I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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