I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Randomize
