you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
she told me i tasted like america
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize