exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
